The Fates Have a Twisted Sense of Humor
by ArtikGato
Summary: Hiei x Botan. It all started when Botan had to distract Hiei after Yukina had been kidnapped, but soon there were a lot of twists to it... Okies, I lied. The last chapter WASN'T the final chapter! Check out the epilogue part two!
1. Today's Class: Keeping Hiei Busy 101

**The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor**

**By ArtikGato**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. When I rule the world, however...

Author's Notes: I have no idea where this one came from. I wanted to write a Hiei x Botan fic, but I didn't figure I'd end up writing a Hiei x Botan _lemon_ fic. Yup, I've had a _few_ too many popsicles!! Well, beware for obviously lemon material, cussing, ect. 

            "Kidnapped?"

            "Yes."

            "Again?!"

            "By who?"

            "Yukina my love, I will save you!!" 

            Kuwabara promptly ran out of the door of Koenma's office in the Spirit World, leaving four confused people behind. Koenma sat at his desk, Yusuke stood in front of it, Kurama leaned against a wall nearby, and Botan was hovering on her oar beside Koenma's desk.

            "Do you think he knows the way out?" Yusuke asked, as Kuwabara ran through the door and out into the utter chaos of ogres and ferrygirls. 

            "Never mind about that. We have to think of something-" Koenma started. Kurama, who had been silent until now, spoke up.

            "What are we going to do about Hiei?" he asked.

            "I was just getting to that. The good news is that he doesn't know yet. The bad news is that we're going to have to distract him...somehow," Koenma replied. 

            "I can distract him," Kurama offered, thinking that he would have to go buy about ten gallons of ice cream. Koenma shook his head.

            "No. The demons holding Yukina hostage are far too strong to send just Yusuke and Kuwabara like the last time she was kidnapped,"

            "So...why do we have to distract Hiei? He would probably be a big help," Yusuke asked.

            "There is a human with the demons. A powerful human. The thing is, there is a demon that looks almost exactly like him, and as you know, demons are forbidden to kill humans," Koenma informed them.

            "But why can Kurama come along?" Yusuke asked, confused.

            "Kurama can handle the ones that are obviously demons, while you two can handle the ones that could be human," Koenma replied.

            "But why can't Hiei come along and just help Kurama?" Yusuke inquired. This time, Kurama answered.

            "You know Hiei. He would probably just get fed up and 'Black Dragon' the lot of them," the fox demon replied.

            "That's true," Yusuke said. Koenma cleared his throat.

            "Exactly. But _someone_ has to go distract him so that doesn't happen," he said.

            "So, it has to be someone that doesn't have to fight..." Yusuke started.

            "Someone that can track him down easily..." Kurama continued.

            "And someone who can get to him quickly." Koenma finished. All eyes fell on the blue haired girl on the other side of the room. She blinked at them.

            "You want _me_ to distract him?!" she demanded.

            "Well, you aren't needed for the fight..." Kurama said.

            "Neither is Koenma!!" she protested.

            "Yes, but I have more important things to do than subdue demons. I _am_ ruler of the Spirit World, you know," Koenma explained.

            "But..." Botan started.     

            "You _can_ track him down pretty easily, and how fast can you fly on that oar? 100 miles per hour?" Yusuke asked. 

            "I refuse!!" Botan exclaimed. 

            "You don't have a choice!!" Yusuke yelled. They glared at eachother.

            "Botan, I _order_ you to, as ruler of the Spirit World," Koenma said. She looked at him in shock. She glared at him, but nodded.

            "Yes, sir," she said, unenthusiastically. She turned and flew out of the room, muttering curses under her breath. Yusuke and Kurama stared after her, surprised.

            "She's sure mad," Yusuke stated the blatantly obvious.

            "I almost feel sorry for _Hiei_," Kurama said. 

            "Her orders _were_ to distract him by any means possible. I hope that doesn't include killing?" Yusuke asked.

            "I doubt she could kill Hiei. Mortally wound, yes," Koenma reassured them. 

            Botan was so mad that she didn't even notice Kuwabara as she flew past him, hopelessly lost in the maze that was the palace of the Spirit World. 

            "Hey!! Wait up!! How do you get out of here?!" he yelled after her, but she turned a corner and was gone. A few minutes later, Kurama and Yusuke ran up.

            "There you are, Kuwabara!" Kurama exclaimed.

            "Did you know that this tunnel leads to hell?" Yusuke asked. Kuwabara shrieked in surprise, and looked back at the corner Botan had just rounded.

            "That means Botan was headed into hell!! I have to go save her!!" he exclaimed, and ran in the direction Botan had flown.

            "I was just _joking _moron!!" Yusuke exclaimed, and he and Kurama ran after Kuwabara. 

            "Now, where could Hiei be?" Botan asked herself as she floated over Tokyo on her oar. Using her trusty demon compass, she soon found him, sleeping lazily in a tree.

            "Finally! There you are, Hiei!" she exclaimed, swooping down to float beside him. He sat up and glared at her in annoyance. She pretended not to notice, still smiling cheerily.

            "What brings you here? Another mission from Koenma?" he asked.

            "Well...:" she started. Koenma had said that she had to distract him, he just hadn't said how. And that...was a problem. "Yes!! A....really REALLY big and ugly demon has appeared...North of here!!" Botan lied. Well, it was a distraction for him...

            "Just one demon?" Hiei asked, arching his eyebrow.

            "Umm...no!! There are like ten or twenty! And they're eating the souls of humans in the area!! We have to leave right now!!" Botan exclaimed and, before Hiei could protest or ask another question, she had pulled him onto her oar and zoomed off.

            "I hope you know that we're going east," Hiei said as they took off. Botan blushed in embarrassment.

            "I knew that!" she exclaimed, adjusting her flight so that they were headed North. 

            "This shouldn't be too hard," Yusuke said, looking at a map. 

            "We can probably just take a bus out and be there in a few hours," Kurama informed them.

            "Okay...got any money?" Yusuke asked. Kuwabara checked his pockets and reported that he had a total of 75 cents. Yusuke also checked his pockets, and discovered that he had two dollars, three pennies, and a note from Keiko. 

            "Now how old is _this_?" he asked himself, sweatdropping. He could almost hear Keiko now...

            _Yusuke you selfish pig-headed moron!!!!_

            "What about you, Kurama?" he asked, trying to forget that image of impending doom. 

            "I have enough for two tickets," he said, producing five dollars. 

            "Great!! I'll pay you back when I have money!" Kuwabara exclaimed, and ran off toward the nearest bus station. Yusuke and Kurama sighed in annoyance.

            "I'm afraid you'll be waiting for a few years for that money," Yusuke said, and they took off after Kuwabara. 

            "I don't sense any demons near here, Botan," Hiei said.

            "But I'm _sure_ that this is the place he said!" Botan replied. A bit of snow blew past them, and the ferry girl sneezed. Hiei wasn't affected at all. He was, after all, half ice demon. 

            "I don't sense Yusuke or Kurama's energy, either," Hiei added. Botan pretended to check her demon compass (she was really trying to think of an excuse to tell him). He was silent, and looked at the snow with a kind of tender look. Hold on...

            _'Yukina is an ice demon...ice is just snow only solid...ACK!! What if the snow is reminding him of Yukina?!'_

            "Ummm...oh, stupid Botan!! Koenma said _South_, not north!!!" she exclaimed. Hiei didn't say anything, but looked to the East. He pushed his white headband up into his hair, revealing his Jagan eye. Botan panicked.

            _'Oh crap oh crap oh CRAP!!!'_

            "There's not time for that, Hiei!! We have to go!!" she exclaimed, summoning her oar and practically dragging him onto it.

            "What's the big idea?!" he demanded, but she deliberately took off before she could answer. He stared at the back of her head suspiciously, using some of his power to keep her hair out of his face. 

            "Baka onna," he mumbled, but she didn't hear him because the wind was too loud. He considered using the Jagan eye to read her thoughts, but decided against it. They were over 100 feet in the air, and if she 'accidentally' pushed him off because he was reading her thoughts, then he would probably be in for a _lot_ of pain when he hit the ground. 

            "Hold on just a little longer, Yukina darling!! The great Kuwabara will rescue you!!" Kuwabara shouted as he practically jumped out of the door of the bus and onto the ground below. Yusuke and Kurama apologized to the contents of the bus that had just been rudely awakened, and got off as well. 

            "Geez, Kuwabara, I think you woke up the entire country just now!" Yusuke yelled at him. Kuwabara wasn't paying attention, for he was too busy tying something to his head. 

            "What'cha got on your head, Kuwabara? Something to make you smarter?" Yusuke asked. Kuwabara turned around and tried to look incredibly important, revealing a pink headband with hearts and other miscellaneous love-ish things on it. 

            "It's the Great Fighting Headband of Love #2!!" he exclaimed, and then turned and ran into the snow covered forest they were standing next to, exclaiming some nonsense about how he would personally decapitate every demon within a 100 yard circumference of Yukina. Kurama stared after him, sweatdropping. Yusuke shrugged. 

            "I think he's gotten stupider since the last time we had to rescue Yukina. C'mon, Kurama," he said, and they started after Kuwabara. 

            "From one extreme to another," Botan muttered under her breath, as she rolled up the sleeves of her pink kimono. They were standing on a beach of some tropical island, on practically the other side of the world from the snow covered valley they had been in before. Hiei jumped off of Botan's oar, and folded his arms. The heat didn't affect him, despite the fact that he was black from head to toe, with the exception of his face and hands. He was, after all, half fire demon. Sometimes it pays to be mixed...

            "I don't sense any demons _here_ either," Hiei informed Botan, who was still on her oar. 

            "Maybe we're too late and Yusuke and the others already beat them?" she tried. 

            "Perhaps," Hiei said, and once again removed his headband. Botan panicked again.

            "Er, maybe Koenma said East?" she tried. Hiei glared up at her.   

            "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to distract me," he said. She sweatdropped nervously, and jumped down to the ground, her oar disappearing to where ever it had come from. 

            "Now why would you think that?" she asked.

            "You wouldn't mess up directions _this_ badly unless it was on purpose," Hiei replied. Botan put a hand up to her head, and pretended to grimace in pain.

            "Well, I _have_ got a killer headache..."

            "Spare me. _Something_ is wrong, and Koenma sent you to distract me," Hiei said. His Jagan eye glowed, signaling that he was using it. Botan, once again panicked, slapped her hands over the eye, effectively stopping Hiei from reading her thoughts.

            "Ow!!" Hiei exclaimed, backing up and holding his head in pain. "Baka!! What was THAT for??" he demanded.

            "You were trying to read my thoughts!!!" she exclaimed defensively. 

            "So what??" 

            "So what?! You were trying to **READ MY THOUGHTS**!!!" 

            "What are you hiding that it is so important I don't find out?!" 

            "Umm...I can't tell you,"

            "Why  not?"

            Botan thought for a moment. If she said it was orders from Koenma, he might suspect something, and put all of the pieces together. She had to think of something _else_ that she wouldn't want Hiei to know if she knew it. 

            "Well...umm...it's...umm..." she said, blushing fakely. He stared at her, incredulously. From the relatively short amount of time he'd spent watching humans, he'd noticed that the females got red cheeks in certain situations. Yusuke's woman blushed when he said or did something nice. He'd also seen some of the girls from Kurama's school blush whenever he looked at them. Following that train of logic, since Botan had been human at some point, he was either doing something nice (which he wasn't), or she 'liked' him, as Kurama put it. He once again considered reading her thoughts, as he was incredibly confused now, but decided against it. His eye was already irritated, if he tried that again...

            "Baka," he said, covering his Jagan eye with the white cloth again. She glared at him, then summoned her oar.

            "I'll give you a ride back to the city," she said, sitting on it. He shrugged. 

            "Whatever," he said, also sitting on the oar. 

            Orange energy crackled in Kuwabara's hand, as his Spirit Sword sprang to life. He swung it in a circle, making it get longer as it went. The demons who had made a circle around him had made a grave mistake.

            "Shotgun!!" Yusuke shouted nearby, and there were seven or eight explosions of blue-ish white spirit energy. Kuwabara ran through a line of trees to find Yusuke and Kurama standing in front of a pile of what used to be demons. Yusuke blew on the hand that he had used for the shotgun, and they turned around, to find Kuwabara.

            "Oh, there you are! We were looking for you," Kurama said. 

            "Here we are," Botan said, as she pulled up to a stop hovering beside Hiei's tree. Hiei jumped off of her oar and landed on a branch nearby, muttering something. Botan glared at him.

            "You could at least thank me for the ride!!" she exclaimed.            

            "All you did was steer," he replied, settling down on his branch. Botan fumed.

            "Oh, I see...you ungrateful little youkai!!!" she screeched, twisting in the air so that she was brandishing her oar as a bat. 

            WHAP!!! She nailed Hiei on the head, and twisted in the air again so that she was sitting correctly on her oar. Hiei fell out of the tree and to the ground below.

            "OW!!" he shouted, clutching his head. She stuck her tongue out at him.

            "Serves you right," she said. She turned to fly off, but she didn't count on Hiei trying to get revenge. He jumped, and before she realized what was happening, he had tackled her off of her oar and to the ground below. 

**Okay, people, should I make the next chapter a lemon or not? I've got a pretty good idea what to do either way, but which one I write depends on what you people want! Review!!**


	2. And the insult wars begin!

**The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor**

**By ArtikGato**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. When I rule the world, however...

Author's Notes: I was in a stupid/weird mood when I wrote the last chapter. Could you _tell?! Anyway, sorry I haven't updated in a while. Homework + other fics + laziness = few updates. Sorries. But I HAVE decided that this story will NOT be a lemon at any point. Sorry to all of you that wanted a lemon, especially you that wrote, and I quote, __'LEMON!! LEMON!! LEMON!! PLANT A LEMON TREE AND GROW LEMONS!!'.  I may change my mind and write an epilogue to it that IS a lemon (so you have no excuse to kill me...). I'd just like to thank EVERYONE that reviewed!! I have OVER 50 reviews, and for only ONE chapter!! I haven't gotten that kind of a response for any other story, one-shot or not! Thanks to you ALL!!  Now, I've lowered the rating, I've decided not to make it a lemon, and I'll try to stay IN CHARACTER, for all of you that said that Hiei and Botan were OUT of character..._

**Chapter Two**

WHAM!!

            '_The NERVE of some people!!__ He TACKLED me!! He actually TACKLED me!!'_

            Botan's head screamed with pain, as she glared up at the smirking Hiei.

            "Well, that'll teach you to hit _me in the head," he said. She continued to glare, but try as she may, he had her completely immobilized, pinned down to the ground._

            "Would you MIND?!" she demanded.

            "Do you surrender?" he asked.

            "What kind of question is THAT?!" she demanded.

            "Do you or do you NOT surrender?!" Hiei demanded.

            "If it will get me back on my feet sooner, then yes, I SURRENDER!" she yelled, furiously. His smirk grew, and suddenly he was standing by the tree, laughing. She sat up, one hand on her head.

            "That wasn't _funny, Hiei! That hurt!!" she yelled._

            "So did your blasted oar!!" he yelled back, still smirking. 

            "It's not like you haven't been hit in the head with WORSE, whereas most people don't go around TACKLING women! Where are your manners?!" she demanded.

            "Manners?" he asked, pretending to sound naïve. 

            "AUGH!!" Botan exclaimed, and summoned her oar.

            "Whatever," she said, sitting on it. There were a few seconds of silence, and Botan continued to rub her head which still hurt.

            "Aren't you going to leave?" Hiei asked.

            "Not until you apologize," she replied, stubbornly.

            "Well, I'm afraid you'll be sitting there for a while," Hiei said, and sat down right where he was, "Because I'm don't apologize to ANYONE, EVER," 

            "Oh, I think you WILL apologize to me, Hiei no Baka!" Botan replied. Hiei's eyes widened, then thinned into a glare. 

            "WHAT did you call me?!"

            "HIEI no BAKA!!" she exclaimed. Hiei seemed to radiate angriness.

            "BAKA NINGEN!!" Hiei replied.

            "KUSO YOUKAI!!" Botan yelled in response. Hiei stared at her for a few seconds. Then he started to laugh. Botan glared in contempt at him.

            "Wow...I didn't think you had it in you..." Hiei managed to say, before he collapsed into a fit of half-fake half-real laughter. Botan twitched. 

            WHAM!!

            "Ow!! Ningen!" Hiei exclaimed, rubbing his head. Botan examined her oar in concern, and then glared at Hiei again. 

            "There's a DENT in it from your STUPID THICK HEAD!!" she shrieked. Hiei looked thoroughly ticked off. 

            "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO HIT ME KUTTABACCHIMAE!!!" he yelled.

            Botan snapped. You could tell. She got REALLY red, her eyes were glowing white, and her hair was practically standing up on her head. She stalked over to Hiei, who had a smirk on his face.

            SMACK!!

            She walked away looking strangely calm, and Hiei rubbed his cheek where a huge red handprint was.

            "Hey!" 

            "You deserved it, baka!" she replied. Hiei still rubbed his cheek.

            "Yeesh!! What ARE you, a DEMON?! I think you left an indention!" he yelled and ran after her, deciding that further revenge was in order. He couldn't kill her, as she was a human spirit (and being the Messenger of Death probably immortal anyway), but he could do LOADS of other stuff...

            "What NOW? Are you going to apologize or tackle me again?" Botan asked, sarcastically, turning around to face the demon. He smirked at her again.

            "Nope," he said. "And you can count out me apologizing. I haven't apologized to anyone YET and I'm CERTAINLY not going to start with a worthless ningen girl," Hiei said. Botan glared.

            "What?" she asked, but Hiei's form blurred and suddenly he reappeared behind her.

            "The one thing that I've learned is that girls get REALLY ticked off..." he started, and grabbed the end of the sash that held on her kimono, "...when THIS happens!" he exclaimed, and jumped backwards a few feet, taking the sash with him. Botan barely had the time to let out a started "ACK!" before she was a tangled mass of arms and pink clothing, trying desperately to keep her kimono _on. Hiei reappeared in the tree above her, laughing like a maniac. He dropped the sash to her, still laughing. She glared up at him._

            "This is NOT funny Hiei!! I'm going to get you BACK for this ONE HUNDRED FOLD!! ARGH!!!" she cursed, which only made Hiei laugh harder. He eventually stopped laughing, but couldn't resist the occasional snicker as he watched Botan scramble and flail around frantically trying to put her kimono back on without showing any skin. 

            _'If that's her plan, she's failing horribly_,' Hiei thought, as Botan suddenly somehow lost grip completely on her kimono...needless to say, she accidentally flashed Hiei. Hiei couldn't help but snicker, but then he started having...impure thoughts. 

            "YOU HAD BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN LOOKING, PERVERT!!!" Botan shrieked, which made Hiei once again burst into laughter. "HEY!!! OH THAT'S IT, YOU'RE SO **DEAD**!!" 

            After about twenty minutes of struggling, flailing and threatening unholy vengeance at Hiei, Botan _finally got her kimono back on correctly, and proceeded to whap Hiei in the head with her oar..._

            "Take THAT!! And THAT!! And THAT!! THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT THAT!!!" 

...countless numbers of times. Hiei made it out of the confrontation alive, but with a severely bruised head and two hand prints on his cheeks. He STILL had not apologized.

            "That hurt A LOT wench!" Hiei exclaimed.

            "You had it coming to you. You're LUCKY my oar broke, or else I would have cause WAY more damaged to your ALREADY FRACTURED HEAD!!" Botan replied, holding up the two pieces of her spirit oar. She frowned. "By the way, you owe me one Spirit Oar," she informed him. He shook his head. 

            "There are three things I do not do. Number one, I don't apologize. Number two, I don't replace anything that I break or destroy. And number three...I do NOT each artichokes," Hiei said. Botan blinked.

            "What do you have against artichokes?" Botan asked. Hiei gagged.

            "They're gross!" he exclaimed. Botan got a really REALLY **REALLY evil grin. **

            "I promise I won't pester you for an apology or a replacement oar if you eat...TEN ARTICHOKES!!" Botan exclaimed. Hiei scoffed.

            "No way in Hell. And I could care less if you pester me until you're blue in the face, I WON'T EAT ARTICHOKES, YOU HEAR ME?!" Hiei shouted. Botan nodded.

            "All right...but where's my apology and new oar?" 

            "Did you NOT JUST HEAR ME?!" Hiei demanded. Botan smirked.

            "Where's my apology, Hiei?!" 

            "I DON'T APOLOGIZE!!"

            "YOU STILL OWE ME A NEW OAR!!" 

            "ARGH!!"

One hour later...

            "Apologize!!"

            "NO!!"

            "Replace my oar!"

            "NO!!"

Meanwhile...

            Yusuke stood up from another unconscious demon. Kuwabara walked up carrying the limp carcass of what looked to be another demon. Kurama absentmindedly hummed a tune, with three bad guys suspended in the air wrapped in his thorn vines. He pretended to ignore them as they shouted words of surrender. 

            "Okay, I guess we're done here! Now all we have to do is find Yukina!" Yusuke said. Kuwabara instantly struck a dramatic pose.

            "YUKINA MY ICE ANGEL, I WILL SAVE YOU!! KUWA-BABY IS** ON HIS WAY!!!" Kuwabara shouted, and ran off. Kurama and Yusuke followed after him. **

            "I don't know what's more disturbing about that sentence...the fact that he called Yukina an ice _angel when she's clearly a __demon..." Kurama started..._

            "Or 'Kuwa-baby'," Yusuke finished. They both shuddered. Kuwabara suddenly burst dramatically through a set of double doors, followed by Kurama and Yusuke. They found themselves in an arena. An old guy with more wrinkles then there are words in the _Declaration of Independence appeared before them._

            "Ah, the guests have arrived!" he said in one of those cheesy stereotypical Japanese old guy voices. He turned around. "Come on out now, boys!! Show them what you're made of!" he called, then he pranced off laughing stupidly. (you know "Ah ah ah! Yeesss...) Three huge hulking demon things stepped into the light. 

            "My name is...DEATHSTRIKER!!" said the first one, who was dressed in all black and holding a fake looking sickle. The second stepped forward.

            "I am EVILPSYCHO!!" yelled the second, brandishing a few daggers that had blood (or maybe ketchup?) on them for effect. The final one stepped up, wearing a pink tutu and a pair of shorts.

            "My name is LISA-MAE!!!" he/she/it exclaimed. The other two hit he/she/it on the head.

            "No no Lisa-Mae!! You need to have a COOL and FOREBODING and EVIL name!! That is two words only written as one!" Deathstriker said. 

            "Okay," Lisa-Mae said. Then she re-struck her dramatic pose.

            "I am...SUPERDEATHDESTROYERWOMAN!!" she said, then looked at her two older brothers for approval. They both gasped.

            "Lisa-Mae!! That name is BRILLIANT!!!" they both exclaimed.

            "Ahem," said Kuwabara. The three siblings turned to look at him. They snickered momentarily because of the freakish pink headband, but then they turned serious.

            "Prepare to die HUMANS...and you demon...but mostly HUMANS!!!" exclaimed Evilpsycho. 

            "WHERE IS YUKINA?! IF YOU HURT HER I SWEAR I'LL CHOP YOUR ARMS OFF AND FEED THEM TO SHARKS!!!" Kuwabara threatened. Kurama and Yusuke looked at him as if he was an absolute moron. The three demons looked completely unfazed at this threat. 

            "You want to see your ice princess?! Here she is!!"  said Deathstriker. More lights came from the ceiling and illuminated a chair, where Yukina was sitting, strapped down to the chair. She looked up, and saw Kuwabara. 

            "Kuwabara!! You have come to rescue me again!! Please leave before you are hurt!!" Yukina shouted. 

            "Yukina!! Don't worry, I'll rescue you!!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

            "What are we, chopped liver?" Kurama asked. Yusuke once again shrugged. 

            "Let's fight then, if you're so anxious to save your little snow maiden!" Deathstriker exclaimed. 

            "Yes let's!" Evilpsycho exclaimed.

            "Ooh ooh! Big brothers, can I play with the pretty pink haired one over there?!" requested Superdeathdestroyerwoman. Kurama looked a little miffed at this comment, but was silent.

            "Why yes you can!!" they both exclaimed. 

            "But I call the stupid guy with the oil slick hair!" Evilpsycho exclaimed. Yusuke looked INCREDIBLY offended for no apparent reason. 

            "You're ON!! You have a stupid name, ANYWAY!!!" Yusuke shrieked. All of the strange siblings gasped.

            "HOW DARE YOU MAKE FUN OF HIS WONDERFUL NAME!! HE SPENT **HOURS ON THAT NAME!!!" yelled Deathstriker and Superdeathdestroyerwoman. **

            "That's kinda pathetic..." said Kuwabara.

            "Shut up, you!! Let's fight!!" Deathstriker exclaimed, and launched himself at Kuwabara. Kuwabara formed his Spirit Sword and held it up. Deathstriker was impaled on the sword.

            "That was too easy. Your turn, Yusuke!" Kuwabara exclaimed, kicking Deathstriker's unconscious form away.

            "YOU KILLED OUR DEAR BROTHER!!" yelled Evilpyscho and Superdeathdestroyer...aww screw it, let's call her Superdeath!

            "Yaaay!" cheered Superdeath. 

            "You're DEAD oil slick!" exclaimed Evilpsycho. Yusuke shot a tiny little miniscule Spirit Gun blast at him, and he hit the floor at Yusuke's feet, unconscious. 

            "Well...that could have been tougher," Yusuke admitted.

           "Your turn, Kurama," both Yusuke and Kuwabara said, turning to him. Kurama looked skeptical.

            "You expect me to HARM a SWEET INNOCENT little girl?!" Kurama asked. They both shrugged. Superdeath wandered up to Kurama.

            "Mister pink hair person?" she asked. 

            "It's MAGENTA, child, MAGENTA," Kurama said, looking down at her. She had tears in her eyes. Then she started screaming and crying.

            "WHY DID YOUR FRIENDS KILL MY BROTHERS?!" she demanded.

            "Your brothers aren't dead, they just made them...umm, go to sleep! I promise that if you pour cold water on them, they'll wake up..." Kurama started.

            "Yaaay!" she exclaimed, and ran off to get cold water. Kurama dragged her back GENTLY with a NON-THORNY rose whip.

            "Not yet, child!! You can wake them up AFTER we leave with Yukina!" Kurama told her. Kuwabara took that as his signal and went over and FREED Yukina!! Yay!

            "Yukina my love!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

            "Kuwabara my...uhm...Kuwabara!!" Yukina exclaimed, as they dove into eachother's arms and all that other kinda romance-ey stuff. 

            "Play with me!!" exclaimed Superdeath as she pouted and continued to cry.

            "Okay okay, what do you want to play?" Kurama asked, humoring her. Superdeath smiled.

            "APOLOGIZE, BAKA!!"

            "NO, WENCH!!" 

            "REPLACE MY OAR, YOUKAI!!"

            "NEVER, NINGEN!!"

            The two had started taking a step toward eachother once every insult when the insults started flying, and now they were now practically nose to nose. If you looked closely, you could see electricity crackling between their eyes. 

            "APOLOGIZE, HIRETSUKAN!!" 

            "NO CHANCE IN HELL, KONO YOGORE!"

            "APOLOGIZE!!"

            "Will you EVER shut up?!" Hiei demanded.

            "Yes, once you APOLOGIZE!!"   

            "_Argh!__ How can I get her to SHUT THE HELL UP?! This is driving me insane!! Wait... I think I know a way...no, no, I can't kill her. Well, I CAN, but Koenma will undoubtedly make me do that blasted COMMUNITY SERVICE again!! So what can I do?!' Hiei thought, ignoring string of the 'Apologize now, baka!!'s. _'Hold on...yeah, this might work!_' _

            "DOBUTSU!! BAKA!! HIRETSU-" Botan yelled, but Hiei did something VERY unexpected: he grabbed her shoulders and _kissed _her.

            _'Well...this is unexpected_," Botan thought.

            _'Hey it worked! She shut up! This is kinda nice..._' Hiei thought. Then he mentally slapped himself. _'Stop thinking like that, baka!_'

**What will happen next? It's all up to you guys! Review and tell me what you think! (And another THANK YOU!! to everyone that reviewed...even those of you that weren't saying anything nice. A review is a review, right?**

**Bonus!!!**

**ArtikGato's**** 'How to Cuss in Japanese' Class!! (aka translations to all of the insults above)**

Baka = stupid (a frequently used word in a LOT of my stories...)

Ningen = human

Youkai = demon

Kuso = pretty much all of the English cuss words used when a situation is not in your favor

Kuttabacchimae = female dog 

Hiretsukan = stupid evil stupid...thing!!

Kono Yogore = piece of filth

Dobutsu = animal

**Yay****! Now you too can have incredibly bad words in your stories but still call them PG! ^_^'**


	3. Lips at War

**The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor**

**By ArtikGato**

Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is owned by Yoshihiro Togashi, not me. I'm simply borrowing the characters and stuff for fun. ^_^

Author's Notes: Thanks to you all who reviewed the last chapter requesting/demanding that I update soon. I'll try to update sooner from now on, as my major exams are over with, and I probably won't have much homework any more. ^___^ Yaaaaay! Okay, now on with the fanfic! Oh, and for you that requested that I separate the different scenes when I switch, I'll now put a line of ==='s going across the page for a scene change. All right, now on to chapter three!

**Chapter Three**

           Koenma was, well, the shortest way to put it was stressed. Everything was riding on Botan now. If Hiei found out about Yukina being kidnapped and killed a human, King Enma would have a fit!! Koenma shuddered. He didn't want to get spankings...

            "Koenma sir! How are things going?" George asked, as he rushed into the room with an armful of food. He set it down on Koenma's desk, and Koenma glared at him. 

            "George, how many times have I told you not to yell something as you run in here?!" Koenma demanded. George looked sheepish, and decided to change the subject.

            "So....how are things?" he asked. Koenma hit himself on the head, but decided to just drop it.

            "I don't know. Let's check the screen," Koenma said, and pushed a button on his remote control. The formerly black screen changed to a scene. In the scene, Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara, Yukina, and a little girl in a tutu were standing around. There were two unconscious people off to the side of them.

            "What in the world could they be doing? And who's the girl in the tutu?" Koenma asked. Koenma had no sooner got these questions out of his mouth before Yusuke and Kurama waved goodbye to the girl, and Kuwabara and Yukina looked like they thanked her, and then the four of them promptly left, leaving the girl there.

            "Looks like the mission is over!" George exclaimed, joyously.

            "All right!! No spankings! Now, I'll just tell Botan..." Koenma said, and pushed another button on the remote. The scene on the screen changed to another scene. There was a large tree, and two people were standing underneath it. At first, Koenma thought he had pushed the wrong button, because the two people looked like they were kissing. Then he noticed that one of them was wearing a pink kimono and had blue hair, and the other one was pretty much black all the way around. Koenma stared at the screen for a few seconds, dumbstruck. 

            "Ack! Is that _Botan_?!" George asked. Koenma twitched, and angrily hit a button on the remote. The screen flashed back to black. George blinked and looked at him.

            "Umm...weren't you going to tell her that the mission-" George started, but was interrupted as Koenma made a strange angry sound and picked up a stack of papers sitting on his desk. George arched an eyebrow. He started to ask something else, but then realization struck him like a bolt of lightning. He smiled evilly (which was new for him).

            "Oh! I get it!! You're jealous that Hiei is kissing _your_ girlfriend!" George said. Koenma turned and glared at him. 

            BAM!!

            "Owww!! Koenma sir, why did you _hit_ me?" George asked. Koenma just grumbled.

            "Begone from my sight, or I'll hit you again!!" exclaimed Koenma. George promptly left, fearing for his life. "Baka oni..." Koenma growled under his breath. 

            _"Well, so much for just DISTRACTING him! Argh!! Botan, what are you THINKING?!"_

==========================================================================

            Botan was surprised. No no, make that shocked. Hiei had threatened unholy violence on her, but instead he was _kissing_ her? _"Geez, youkai can be so confusing...and I thought for SURE that he hated me_," Botan thought. 

            Just as soon as it had begun, the kiss ended, and both Botan AND Hiei were just standing there looking remarkably like fish out of water. Neither of them really _wanted_ to speak, but since Hiei wasn't likely to say anything, Botan figured that she would have to. 

            WHAM!!

            ...but then she decided that actions speak louder than words. And they usually get the point across, too. 

            "I guess I deserved that," Hiei said, rubbing his cheek which now was pretty much completely red from all of the slaps she had given him. "...you've GOT to be some sort of a demon to be able to hit this hard," he added. Botan fumed.

            "No, I'm just REALLY REALLY MAD, OKAY?!" Botan shrieked. "WHAT IN KAMI-SAMA'S NAME WERE YOU **THINKING**?! She demanded. Hiei glared at her.

            "I was THINKING that I had to shut you up SOMEHOW!" Hiei exclaimed.

            "Well...you could have...I don't know...slapped your hand over my mouth or something!" Botan replied.

            "You would have bitten me," he pointed out. Botan nodded.

            "That's true..." 

            Silence. Awkward silence. 

            "So....was it good?" Hiei asked.

            WHAM!!

            "You know, this is getting old," Hiei asked as he rubbed his other cheek. 

            "You deserved EVERY LAST ONE!!" Botan yelled. Hiei sighed.

            "Well?" 

            "Well what?" 

            "Was it any good?" Hiei asked, Botan attempted to slap him but he caught her hand that time.

            "I don't normally hurt women that are INCREDIBLY underpowered compared with me, but I've decided that YOU are an exception! Now will you answer the question?" he said, with a surprisingly calm tone to his voice. Botan looked shocked for a second, and then narrowed her eyes. 

            "What the-" Hiei asked, but it was far too late. A purple burst of energy sent him flying to the ground a few feet away. He sat up, and looked confused. Then he looked over at Botan...who was glowing purple! He snickered, and then laughed.

            "And WHAT are you laughing about?!" Botan demanded, fuming.

            "The ningen ferrygirl can use spirit energy after all," he said, standing up and still snickering.

            "And you expected me NOT to?! I hang around with Yusuke and YOU people all day! How could I NOT pick up a few tricks along the way?" Botan asked. Hiei was about to reply, when he was interrupted by a familiar shout.

            "Botan! Botan! Hey, there you are!" exclaimed someone. They both turned to look, and saw an abnormally tall light blue ogre running toward them.

            "George?" Botan asked, surprised. George ran up to them, and stopped for breath.

            "There you are! I have to tell you, the mission is off!" George exclaimed.

            "Mission?" Hiei asked.

            "Really?! That's great, George!" Botan exclaimed, feeling on top of the world. She clapped her hands together.

            "So everyone is all right?" she asked.

            "They ran into a little interference, but nothing to severe. I honestly don't know HOW they captured her in the first place," George informed her.

            "Her who?" Hiei demanded.

            "Yuk-" George stopped, but Botan slapped her hand over his mouth.

            "Keiko!" she exclaimed, laughing nervously. Hiei glared suspiciously at them. Then he reached up and removed the bandage that hid his Jagan eye. 

            "I don't believe you," he said. Botan gulped, and did the only thing that her panicked brain could think of to distract him..._she_ kissed _him_. 

=======================================================================

            Koenma took a deep breath.

            "Okay...that was probably a misunderstanding. Yeah...that's it," he said, and pushed a button on his controller. The blank screen changed to the familiar scene with the tree. This time, there were THREE people; one familiar oni, one blue-haired, pink-kimonoed ferrygirl, and one shorter, predominately black youkai. Once again, the guy that seemed to emanate blackness and the girl with the blue hair and pink kimono looked like they were kissing.

            Koenma fumed. No, let me rephrase that. Koenma threw a fit.

            "STILL?!? IT'S BEEN **TEN** MINUTES!!" he screeched.

=======================================================================

            "Umm..." George said. He got no response from Hiei or Botan. They seemed to be lost to the world. "Gee, Koenma's gonna be mad if he sees this," the oni realized. He sighed, and turned to leave, deciding that he should probably go report this to Koenma. 

            "What was THAT for?!" came the annoyed shriek of Botan. George looked back and was presented with a distinctly _weird_ sight. Botan was blushing furiously, and running after Hiei, who was laughing diabolically and easily outrunning her. 

            "What did I do?" Hiei asked in mock innocence.

            "WHAT DID YOU DO?! YOU **GROPED** ME YOU PERVERT!!" Botan shrieked, and threw a  bolt of purple energy at him from her hand. He easily dodged, still laughing. 

            "That's new," George said, gaping. 

=======================================================================

            "That's it! I'm going down there!" Koenma yelled. He pushed another button on his controller, and nothing happened. A few minutes later, an orange oni and a red-haired ferrygirl ran into the room. 

            "You called?" asked the oni. 

            "Bob! Rose! You're in charge!" Koenma replied, suddenly in his teenaged form. 

            "What?" they both asked.

            "I'm going to mortal Earth to...resolve some things. I'll be back soon," Koenma continued, ignoring their freaked out expressions. 

            "Where are George and Botan?" Rose asked.

            "Never mind them! If anything happens, contact me IMMEDIATELY!" Koenma exclaimed, and ran out of the room. Bob and Rose turned to eachother and shrugged. 

=======================================================================

            "Umm...everyone is staring at me," Yukina said. Kuwabara immediately shot death glares at the rest if the contents of the bus. They all immediately averted their gazes and laughed nervously.

            "Well it's not every day a green haired girl in a kimono boards a bus, y'know," Yusuke  said. Kuwabara glared at him.

            "So?!?" Kuwabara demanded.

            "Well...she just looks a little strange," Yusuke replied.

            "Yukina is NOT strange! She's BEAUTIFUL!!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

            "You really think so, Kazuma?" Yukina asked. 

            "Of course!" Kuwabara replied.

            "Really?" Yukina asked. 

            "Really!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

            "Honestly?" Yukina asked.

            "Absolutely!" Kuwabara exclaimed. 

            "Oh Kazuma!!" 

            "Yukina!" 

            They hugged and other such romanceish stuff. Yusuke mock gagged, and leaned over to Kurama, who was sitting next to him.

            "What do you think they would do if we told them that Yukina is Hiei's sister?" he asked. Kurama shrugged.

=======================================================================

            Koenma grumbled, stalking down the hall that led out of the Underworld.

            "I'm going to KILL them!"

=======================================================================

KABOOM!!!

            "Get back here you hentai!!" Botan yelled, throwing a grenade of energy at Hiei. He turned around to taunt her again, and the ball of energy hit him straight in the chest. He stayed standing through the blast, but his hair was singed as well as his clothes. He glared at her, smoke rising off of him.

            "That was not funny," he said, as Botan started to crack up. She collapsed in a fit of laughter. He blew some of the smoke away with a breath, and disappeared, leaving the smoke there. He reappeared behind Botan and grabbed her arms.

            "HEY!!!" she shrieked, and started flailing around. One of her elbows came dangerously close to Hiei's...

            "Whoa!! Hey!! Stop, stop!! I'm sorry, all right!!!" Hiei squawked. Everything came to a screeching halt. 

            "Did you just-" she started, but Hiei abruptly dropped her and vanished. She fell backwards, arms flailing. Hiei reappeared on one of the upper branches of the tree.

            "Did I just _apologize_?" he asked himself. Botan sat up, rubbing the back of her head.

            "He just apologized," Botan said. 

            "No, I did NOT!" the youkai exclaimed, reappearing in front of Botan. She jumped, startled, and stood up abruptly. Hiei glared at her, red eyes flaring with energy. "Get it through your thick head! I NEVER apologize!! And I CERTAINLY don't apologize to ningens!!" Hiei yelled. Botan smirked, which was a rare thing for her.

            "You DID!!" she exclaimed.

            "I DON'T APOLOGIZE!!" he yelled back. They just stood there glaring at eachother. They slowly moved toward eachother, when suddenly, George made a strange squawk and shouted "Koenma sir?!" 

            "Koenma?" Botan and Hiei both asked, and turned to look. Koenma, in his teenage form, stood fuming in front of George, glaring at them. 

            "Hiei," he said, eyes glowing an eerie yellow.

            "Koenma?" Botan asked, a little shaken. Hiei just returned his glare. 

            "Are you all right, Koenma sir?" George asked, concerned. Koenma said nothing else, narrowing his glare. Hiei closed his eyes.

            "I accept your challenge," he said. 

            "Whoa whoa! What challenge?" Botan asked. Hiei opened his eyes again, smirking.

            "He saw me kissing you, and now he is jealous and wants to fight me," Hiei said. Koenma's eyes glowed brighter, making his skin seem pale.

            "No you youkai shieiji, I don't want to fight you," Koenma said. He crouched slightly into a battle stance. "...I want to kill you," 

**Agh****! Okay, I PROMISE that Koenma is NOT a bad guy in this story!! Don't flame me!!!**

**And now it's time once again foooooorrrrr... Cussing in Japanese 102!!**

Oni: ogre *fyi, George is the ogre that is Koenma's assistant. He calls him 'ogre' in the dub...-_-'*

Youkai: demon, for those of you that don't remember last chapter...

Kami-Sama: God, basically.

Ningen: Human, for those of you that don't remember last chapter

Hentai: pervert

Shieiji: bastard


	4. Koenma vs Hiei: the most mismatched figh...

**The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor**

**By ArtikGato**

Disclaimer: Pigs do not fly. Following that train of logic, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. 

Author's Notes/Rants: 96 REVIEWS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  THANKIES THANKIES THANKIES!! I feel so loved!! ^___^ And someone called me sensei!! Er, sorry. Anyway, I'd just like to say thank you SO much to ALL of the reviewers! 

Serious notes: As I said before, Koenma is not, I repeat, NOT, evil in this story. He's just insanely jealous. Anyway, I'm planning on writing this chapter and one more, and then ending the story. I stress the world PLANNING. Most of the time when I say that, I end up writing twice as many chapters as I was planning on writing...

Oh, and THANKIES TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS!!! KWEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!

==========================================================================

            "No you youkai shieiji, I don't want to fight you," Koenma said. He crouched slightly into a battle stance. "...I want to kill you," 

**Chapter Four**

"Kill him? Are you CRAZY?!" demanded Botan.

            "No, I'm perfectly sane," Koenma replied angrily, glaring once again at Hiei.

            "Then WHY exactly are you challenging him to a DEATH MATCH?!" Botan asked, a bit sarcastically. Hiei took a step forward, placing himself between Botan and Koenma.

            "I think that's obvious. He's jealous," Hiei answered. 

            "But jealousy alone shouldn't be enough to make KOENMA challenge YOU!" Botan pointed out.  Hiei shrugged.   

            "Then he's REALLY jealous," he replied. 

            "Hey!! Don't ignore me!! Murderously jealous guy, here!" Koenma exclaimed. Hiei turned his attention back to him.

            "If you want to fight me so much...then try a little _patience_!" he said, shedding his cloak and drawing his kitana. 

            "Hold on, Hiei!" Botan exclaimed, walking past him and up to Koenma.

            "Now, explain to me WHY you are so jealous?" she asked.

            "He KISSED you!" Koenma exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

            "So?"

            "SO?! Youkai like him barely even deserve to TOUCH you!"

            "Why is that?"

            "You are an underworld messenger, are you not? That makes you one step removed from an angel. Demons...demons just aren't supposed to kiss angels!" Koenma explained. 

            "Says who?" Botan asked.

            "Says ME!" Koenma exclaimed. Botan glared at him.

            "Listen, you! _You may be my boss in the Spirit World but you __can't tell me how to live!" Botan shrieked. _

            "Umm...you're not actually alive..." Koenma said. 

            "SAME DIFFERENCE **YOU JERK!!!!" Botan screamed, and instinctively slapped him hard across the face. Hiei smirked.**

            _"Now he knows how **I** feel_," he thought. 

            "Y...you..." Koenma started, holding his cheek more in shock than in pain. "You SLAPPED me!" he exclaimed. 

            "Oh, what a BRILLIANT deduction!!" Botan exclaimed, sarcastically. Koenma's eyes glowed an eerie yellow, and he growled.

            "You...you..." Koenma started, turning on Botan. She returned his glare, not backing down.

            "&%$#@!" Koenma swore, grabbing her upper arms and slamming her into a tree. She tried to cry out in pain, but the breath had been knocked out of her. Koenma glared at her, but didn't even get to say anything before a fist collided with his head, sending him flying away and into the ground. The person connected to the fist landed in front of Botan all too gracefully.

            "Are you all right?" Hiei asked, turning to her. She took a shaky breath.

            "I think so," she said, stepping away from the tree. She trembled, and her legs gave out from underneath her. Hiei caught her, stopping her from falling. "Okay, maybe not," she said, sitting down on the ground and holding her head. 

            "You PUNCHED me!" came the outraged cry from Koenma. Hiei turned to him, his eyes glowing a firey red. 

            "Enma's son or not...NO ONE has the right to treat a woman this way!" he said.

            "You hypocrite!" Koenma accused. Hiei snarled at him.

            "I never harmed a hair on her head. You _slammed her against a tree_!" Hiei shouted. 

            "You KISSED her! That's worse!" Koenma replied.

            "How?! I should think that she enjoyed THAT more than being SLAMMED INTO A TREE!" Hiei exclaimed, lunging forward, ready to strike. Koenma barely managed to dodge Hiei's slash, but the force he created sent Koenma flying into a tree. The tree snapped in half, and Koenma crashed to the ground a few feet away. He stood up shakily a minute or so later, looking more than a little worse for the wear, but still determined to win. 

            "Koenma! That's enough! You of all people should realize how strong Hiei is! This is stupid!" Botan exclaimed. Koenma glared at her.

            "You stay out of this!" he exclaimed, surging with energy. Without warning, he sent a bolt of energy at Hiei, striking the demon in the chest and sending him flying through several trees.

            "Koenma!" Botan shouted, enraged. She suddenly found the energy to stand up. "Stop this! What do you have to gain?!"

            "You!" Koenma shouted. Botan took a deep breath, clenching her hands into fists. 

            "Listen! Killing Hiei or getting killed by him won't solve anything!" she exclaimed.

            "What do you know?!" demanded Koenma.

            "I know that you can't _force me to love you!! And certainly not by killing Hiei! Stop this right now!" Botan exclaimed. Koenma froze, and Hiei suddenly reappeared behind Botan, ready to kill. _

            "All right, I don't care WHOSE son you are, this time you're DEAD!" Hiei exclaimed, but Botan held her arm out, stopping him. Koenma sighed.

            "I understand. But, sooner or later you're going to have to let me know how you really feel so that this doesn't happen again," he said, and then vanished. Hiei growled, but sheathed his sword and retrieved his cloak.

            "What was THAT all about?" Hiei asked.

            "Well, I didn't want either of you to be hurt, so I decided to mediate!" Botan replied, defensively. Hiei scoffed.

            "Are you saying that he had a chance at beating me?" Hiei asked. Botan thought for a second.

            "Well...not really. But he DID throw you through four trees..."

            "Really? I thought it was five. Anyway, that I barely felt," Hiei replied. Botan shrugged.

            "Whatever," she said, as she tried to summon her oar. Then she remembered that it was in two pieces. 

            "DAMMIT, KOENMA!! iHehHHHHHHHkdkdkHOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO BACK TO THE SPIRIT WORLD **NOW**?!" Botan screamed in frustration.

            "Umm...I was actually the one that broke your oar..." Hiei pointed out. She twitched, and stalked over to him. 

THWOCK!!

            Hiei rubbed the back of his head where she had hit him.

            "Okay...I'll admit that I deserved that," Hiei said. "_What a violent woman..._" 

            "Oh well. I probably shouldn't go back to Spirit World for a while, anyway," Botan said.

            "Why?" Hiei asked. She looked at him incredulously.

            "Were you NOT just fighting with Koenma over me?" she asked. He was silent. 

            "I guess I should stay somewhere here on Earth for a few days," she said after a while. 

            "You should probably stay with Genkai and my sister," Hiei told her. She nodded, but then thought of something.

            "But we're MILES from Genkai's temple! How am I going to get there?" she asked. Hiei shrugged.

            "You could always walk..." he started.      

            "We're MILES from her temple and I'm in a kimono!! I don't think so!" Botan exclaimed. 

            "Just take a bus or whatever Yusuke uses to travel," Hiei said, starting to walk away with a giant smirk on his face.

            "I don't have any money!" she exclaimed, running to catch up with him. He turned around, startling her.

            "Well, I suppose _I could take you there. I can probably get there in under ten minutes," Hiei said, slyly. She looked hopeful, but then skeptical. _

            "What's the catch?" she asked. He smiled evilly. She was kind of freaked out by this, but decided not to say anything.

            "You have to promise not to hit me, slap me, or hurt me in any other way if I do," he said. She sighed in relief. 

            "Deal," she said. His evil smile turned into an evil grin.

            "Umm...could you stop that? You're kind of weirding me ou-- mmmmpphhh?!" she started, but never got to finish her request, for Hiei had grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her. 

==========================================================================

            "AGAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNN?!" Koenma whined, staring at his television screen. 

==========================================================================

            When Hiei finally ended the kiss, he had a gigantic smirk on his face. Botan's eyebrow twitched.

            "Hiei...you..." she started. "You...JERK!!!!" she screamed, shoving him forcefully. Unfortunately, Hiei forgot the fact that he was standing on the top of a slight hill...and at the bottom was a river.

SPLASH!!!

            This time, it was Botan who was smirking and Hiei who was twitching.

            "WE HAD A DEAL!!!" he shouted. 

           "Well, technically shoving you doesn't count as causing you harm...so...HA!!" Botan exclaimed, as a dripping wet Hiei appeared in front of her. A quick burst of Spirit Energy dried him off, him all the while glaring at Botan. She smiled in fake innocence.

            "Oh well," she said, shrugging. "Anyway, time for you to hold up your end of the bargain!" she said. He sighed.

            "Fine, fine," he said, and quickly scooped her up into his arms, disappearing before she could even squawk in surprise. 

==========================================================================

            "Agh! Genkai REALLY needs to install an escalator or something here! Could there POSSIBLY be more steps?!" Yusuke complained. Kuwabara, carrying a tired but happy looking Yukina on his back, turned around and glared at Yusuke.

            "Hey! I'M not complaining, and I'm carrying an extra person! Just shut up, all right?!" he snapped. Yusuke shut up. Well, not quite.

            "Cranky today, aren't we Kuwabara?" 

            "Shut up!!" 

            "Would you HURRY UP?!" came Kurama's annoyed shout from above them. They turned to see him about twenty steps above them. 

            "Okay, okay! We're coming!" Yusuke exclaimed, and he and Kuwabara started their arduous climb to the top of Genkai's stairs once again. 

            "Thank you for carrying me, Kazuma," Yukina said. Kuwabara smiled happily as imaginary cupids flew around his head.

            "No problem, Yukina, my snow princess!" Kuwabara exclaimed.

            A painful and excruciating twenty minutes later, the group finally made it to the top of Genkai's stairs, and not a moment too soon. Instantly, the three men plopped down on the grass, exhausted, and Yukina rushed into the temple to get cold water for them. 

            It was at that point that Hiei and Botan arrived nearby. Hiei dropped the flailing Botan unceremoniously on the ground. She jumped up and shrieked a stream of profanities and insults at him, attracting the attention of the three men, Yukina, and Genkai. 

            "Botan?!" Yukina and Genkai demanded, astonished. 

            "I take it you didn't have fun on the mission," Yusuke said. 

            "No, you THINK?!" Botan exclaimed.

            "Hiei must have REALLY gotten on your bad side, because I've NEVER seen you like this," Kurama pointed out. Botan just gave an exasperated sigh, and stomped off. Yukina followed, concerned, and Genkai just shrugged and left, uninterested. Kuwabara followed Yukina, leaving just Yusuke, Kurama, and Hiei. 

            "What DID you do to her, Hiei?" Yusuke asked. Hiei sighed.

            "Well, I put her through hell...probably more than once. But I think the reason she's THIS mad at me is either the broken oar...or the kisses," he said, shrugging.

            "Broken oar?" Yusuke asked.

            "KISSES?!" demanded Kurama. 

**Just as a bit of warning...I may not update for a while. Sorry. But the mission is over, time for the Epilogue! I don't think I could possibly write more than two chapters for the epilogue...but then again, you never know...**

**No new Japanese words in this chapter! Yay!**

**Once again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! for all of my reviews!! ^______^**


	5. Chapter Five: The lime chapter

**The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor**

**By ArtikGato**

Disclaimer: If you thought for even ONE second that I MIGHT own Yu Yu Hakusho, you need to go visit the mental ward. 

Author's Notes: Once again, I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed. You're all good people!! I send you all imaginary hugs! ^_^ I wish you all peace and prosperity! Thankies again! 

Read the Author's Notes at the end of the chapter. I don't feel like ruining any surprise(s) by putting them up here. Suffice to say that this is NOT the last chapter! The next to last (unless I get random and decide to stretch out the epilogue...)

Okay, now on with the show! Er, story. Well, whatever. Here we go!

**Chapter Five**

_            'I want to apologize. Meet me in the park.' _

            That is what the note had read. Botan was still a little skeptical of the note, even as she walked slowly through the 'park' that Hiei called his home. 

            "_Hiei wouldn't apologize. What else does he want?_" she thought. She suddenly reached a familiar part of the park: the clearing that Hiei's tree was in. She cleared her throat.

            "Hiei? You wanted to meet me?" Botan asked. Truthfully, she was also a little nervous about this. After all, it wasn't like Hiei to want to talk to her willingly outside of a mission. The demon appeared a few feet away, leaning against a nearby tree. 

            "Actually, I did," Hiei said, stepping off from the tree and walking up to her. She blinked, but didn't say anything. They stood there for a couple of silent seconds, before Hiei unexpectedly grabbed her by the chin and kissed her. 

            Had they not already kissed three times before, she might have been shocked. Now, she was mildly surprised. 

            "I've been wanting to kiss you...without you slapping me... or pushing me," Hiei explained. Botan blushed, not really sure whether she should be shy or ashamed. She had to admit that she _did_ feel a bit guilty for slapping him all those times...but what did me mean by just wanting to kiss her? She felt very confused. 

            "Umm, yeah...sorry about that," she said. He smiled slightly.

           "I didn't come here to apologize, so neither should you," he said. She looked a little suspicious, and she could literally _feel_ her blush getting darker.

            "But the note said-"

            "Yeah...well, I actually DID have the intention to apologize...but now I don't," he said. She looked confused.

            "So what do you have the intention to do _now_?" she asked. He suddenly put his arms around her, and, before she could even realize what he was doing, he was kissing her passionately. Her senses screamed at her for her to shove him away, or to pull back away from him, but for some unknown reason she didn't want to. He slipped his hands down to the middle of her back moved his hands in a gentle rubbing motion, which made her press closer to him and moan into his mouth. He slipped his tongue into her mouth, making her practically melt in his arms. 

            Inhibitions forgotten, she subconsciously pressed herself even closer to him, grabbing him about the waist, and at the same time rubbed his tongue roughly with her own. This made him growl low in his throat and reach behind her, and grabbed one of the ends of her sash, as he had before. This time, Botan just kissed him harder as he tossed the sash to the side, letting her kimono hang loose about her. After a bit of struggling, she managed to get his cloak like thing off of him, and made quick work of his shirt as well. It was when she reached for his belt that Hiei stopped the kiss.

            "Botan," he started, and gulped, looking her straight in the eyes, "If you go any further, I won't be able to control myself. I won't be able to take back whatever I do," he warned her. She smiled.

            "Just shut up and kiss me, youkai," she said, purposefully letting her kimono slip off of her shoulders. Hiei shook his head.

            "Not yet. I have to do this right." he said, grabbing her shoulders. She gave him a confused look, but he ignored it and enveloped her neck in a kiss. She still looked confused, until she felt him sink his fangs into her neck. Suddenly, everything clicked. Botan knew exactly what was going on. She had come to know a lot of things over the years as the ferrier of the River Styx, after all.

            Youkai and humans were alike in the way that they outwardly showed their emotions. They glared when angry, blushed when embarrassed, paled when scared, ect. However, the one emotion that youkai showed differently was one of the rarer demon emotions: love. Youkai showed possession of their mates by biting them. Their bite mark was how they claimed their mates... and once a demon has chosen a mate, nothing less than death could separate them.  

            "Hiei..." she started. She felt him remove his fangs from her neck. "D-does this mean...?" she trembled, and her throat tightened, making her unable to finish. He brought his head up and looked her straight in the eyes.

And then he smiled.

A genuine, caring, loving smile. A rare sight from the youkai. Botan could feel the fresh sting of tears behind her eyes, and her stomach seemed to tie itself into knots at that smile. 

She knew she would never be the same again. 

===========================================================================

            "_Damnit__, Hiei," Kurama thought, as he once again intervened in the conversation between Yukina and Kuwabara, making sure that Kuwabara didn't get the chance to ask her on a date or anything like that. "_Why can't you just let Yukina date whoever she wants to date?_"_

            Hiei had left the kitsune in charge of making sure Kuwabara didn't get to say or do anything even slightly romantic with Yukina. Kurama rolled his eyes. "_Hypocrite_." He looked over at Yukina, and almost laughed.

            _"She doesn't even know that she has an older brother. And, guessing from what Hiei said earlier, she's about to have an older sister that she doesn't know about." He thought. Mentally grinning. _

===========================================================================

It was almost surreal; unbelievable. Reading that note earlier, Botan could never have imagined what it would have led to. And yet, she was glad. She felt no regrets. But she almost couldn't believe what had happened. Was she dreaming? No, she could never feel this way in a dream. She relished the feeling of the cool grass below her and the warm form above her. She didn't want to open her eyes. Was she afraid? Afraid to open them and find him staring down at her with anger in his eyes? Or worse, guilt? She pushed the thoughts away and just kept her eyes closed. What would be the point of opening her eyes? 

            But reality began to seep back into her mind. She became aware of her hands, pinned to the ground just a few inches above her head by his hands, their fingers intertwined. She knew that he was resting his forehead softly on hers, and she could feel him panting for breath as he rested his body against hers. She didn't want to open her eyes, but she knew she had to. A question was blaring in her head, and it absolutely _had_ to be answered. So, regretfully, she opened her eyes, to find his red ones staring down into hers.

            "How are you feeling?" he asked, softly. She saw a small smile on his lips, the lips that she had kissed so many times (though half of the time it wasn't willingly...). 

            "I don't know," she answered. There was a brief pause, and the question in her mind finally came back to her. "Hiei..." she started.

            "Yeah?" he asked. 

            "...why?" 

            The question was cryptic, but Hiei seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. He abruptly rolled so that he was no longer on her, making her shiver. He still kept his fingers wrapped about hers.        

            "I'll just tell you straight forward what happened. You know I was never one to drag things out for longer than they need to be." he said. She nodded.

            "After the mission, for some unexplainable reason, I couldn't stop thinking about you." he started. She sucked in a breath of surprise. "I figured that I was just feeling guilty. So, I decided to just apologize, and that's why I sent you that note." She nodded again.

            "Then...Kurama decided to butt in," he said.

            "Ah," Botan said, understanding. 

            "Damn that kitsune and his sweet snow!" Hiei grumbled. Botan arched an eyebrow.

            "Umm..." she started.

            "He bribed me into telling him how I felt," he said, sighing in annoyance, "and then he tricked me into actually_ doing_ something about it."

            "Well...I for one am glad that he bribed you and tricked you," Botan said, smiling. 

            "Yeah...me too," he replied. There was a long pause.

            "So, what now?" Botan asked, and yawned, suddenly very tired.

            "Now...I think you need to sleep," Hiei said, as she yawned again. He wordlessly stood up and retrieved their clothes, slipping back into his quickly. He just wrapped her Kimono and his long cloak around her like blankets.

           "Sleep well, koibito," he said, and picked her up in his arms, disappearing after a few moments. She just closed her eyes, content. 

***Counts up the paragraphs* DEAR LORD!! I'VE WRITTEN SOMETHING SHORT!!! Well, it's short for my style of writing. Anyhow, BELIEVE ME, this isn't the end. The best has yet to come! **

**Just so ya know, this was almost the lemon chapter. That's why it took so long for me to post the freakin' thing. I was going through an inner debate and blah blah blah. Suffice to say...GO ME!! I managed not only to turn it into total and complete fluff, but I ALSO managed to limit this chapter to some slight lime-ish material!! Yay!**

**Koibito****, NOT koi, means Lover. ^^''' Sorry, I was a bit...well, stupid. Sorry. But, no one is perfect, right?**

**By the way, for those of you that wanted a lemon...use your imagination, all right? I KNOW that most of you can see where this was leading, I just stopped writing before that. **

**Thankies**** again for all the wonderful reviews!**


	6. One Heck of an Epilogue!

**The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor**

**By ArtikGato**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just enjoy torturing and/or pairing the characters.

Author's Notes: Thank you all ohsovery much for reviewing!! Okay, now I have to warn you, there is a bit of randomness in this final part of the story, though not too much. If you were expecting the epilogue to this story to be in any way serious, then you haven't read the rest of the story, have you?

**The Epilogue of Doom! (Well, just the Epilogue)**

            The clock struck eleven: it was getting late, and Botan had to wake up early tomorrow. She yawned, and hit the 'power' button on the remote control she was holding. This new ningen 'television' amused her to no extent, she thought, as she made her way over to the light switch on the other side of the room. She suddenly heard a tapping on her window, and froze.

            "Hmn?" she asked, and glanced at her window, fearfully. She gulped and, ready at any moment to summon her new and improved spirit oar, approached the window. The world outside of the glass was dark, slightly illuminated by the tiniest sliver of the moon that shone in the night. There was rustling in the slightly tall grass outside, and she froze, trembling nervously. A pair of red eyes suddenly shone out of the darkness at her. She sighed in relief. Only Hiei. Wait a minute...

            "Hiei!" she hissed. She couldn't see anything but his eyes, but she swore she saw a mocking grin on his face. Exasperated, she opened her window, careful not to make too much noise. Hiei climbed in nearly effortlessly, and she closed the window. Hiei looked around, a wicked and amused smile on his lips.

            "Nice room you have here, koibito," he said, smirking. Her cheeks darkened to an abrupt crimson color.

            "Don't say that so loud!!" she hissed at him. 

            "Why? Are you ashamed?" he asked, still smirking. She lowered her eyes to the ground and began to shift her feet, embarrassed.

            "Well, no, but it's just that no one knows but us...well, us and Kurama. But I would like to _keep_ it that way!" she replied. Hiei blinked, and shook his head.

            "Right. If those two morons and my sister found out we'd never hear the end of it," 

            "Not to mention Genkai..." she replied.

            "And Koenma."  he added.

            "Well..." Botan started. Hiei blinked.

            "Well what?" he asked.

            "Well...Koenma kind of knows. That's why I'm staying here instead of in the Spirit World." Botan explained. Hiei's eyes instantly started to glow.

            "So you told him...and he kicked you out of Spirit World, is that it?" the demon asked.

            "It was nothing like that! He didn't kick me out, I decided that it would be easier if I just stayed on Earth for a while, and it just so happens that Genkai and Yukina were happy to provide me with a place to live," she replied, defensively. 

            "This is going to be weird. _You_ living with _Yukina_." Hiei contemplated.        

            "Nah. Things are already weird enough." Botan replied, smiling. 

=======================================================================

            Just outside of Botan's door, two people hovered. One was a young green-ish haired girl wearing a light kimono. The other was an elder woman with pink hair wearing fighting gi. They both seemed to be listening attentively to a conversation going on inside of the room. Yukina turned to Genkai excitedly.

            "Genkai-sensei," she whispered, "I still can't believe that Hiei-sama called Botan-chan _koibito_!" Genkai smirked evilly. (o_O...watch out when Genkai smirks! Evilly at that!)

            "Yes, child, but even better, we get to tell everyone in the morning when they arrive for a meeting of spirit detectives," she replied. Yukina chuckled softly. 

            Who would have thought that the most evil, sinister, diabolical plans could be concocted by a seemingly innocent girl and an elderly woman?

=======================================================================

            The next morning, everyone was assembled in Genkai's front room. And by everybody I mean Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, Botan, Yukina and Genkai: the people that were generally the Spirit Detectives, related to them, their assistant, or the trainer of the leader of the Spirit Detectives and owner of the house. 

            Kuwabara was talking to Yukina softly, just so softly that Hiei couldn't hear what they were saying from his position on the other side of the room. He looked murderous, probably mentally counting how many ways he could kill Kuwabara. Unnoticed by everyone else, Botan walked casually behind him, and whispered "_It's__ okay, just let it be_.' Hiei grumbled, and decided to try to limit his mental counting to ways he could kill Kuwabara without using spirit energy or his kitana. 

            Yukina suddenly leaned closer to Kuwabara (getting Hiei's immediate attention) and told him something. Kuwabara stared at her in disbelief for a second, and then burst out laughing. Yukina joined him a moment later. Hiei glared evilly at Kuwabara.

            _"If he's laughing at her..._" 

            Yusuke soon walked up, demanding to know what was so funny. Kuwabara whispered something to him, and he too had a shocked expression at first, and then laughed, looking over at Hiei and then at Botan.         

            "No way!"

            "I'm serious!!" Yukina exclaimed. Kurama smirked, hardly able to contain snickers. Hiei rose from his spot on the floor and stalked over to the laughing crew.

            "I demand to know what is so funny," he said, death in his voice. All of a sudden, Kurama wasn't the only male in the room that was smirking evilly. 

            "Ah, Hiei, just the guy we wanted to see. Say, how far have you gotten with Botan?" Yusuke asked. Instantly, everything screeched to a halt. Botan swore that she heard the screech of a car coming to an abrupt stop in her head. She instantly paled, trying not to look panicked but probably getting more panicked because of that.   

            _"This wasn't...supposed...to happen!"_     

            Hiei glowered at them. "That's none of your business, ningen," he said, shoving Yusuke away from him roughly and stalking back to his corner of the room. 

            "Well...I take it you've gotten _somewhere_," Yusuke said. 

            "Just stop, Yusuke," Kurama said, walking up. Botan brightened.

            "_Salvation!"_ she thought. Then she saw Kurama's evil smirk.

            "Can't you see you're disturbing the happy couple?" he asked. Botan twitched. Of course Kurama was against them. 

            She hadn't realized during her inner debate that the three men had now turned on her. Yusuke put an arm around Botan's shoulders, apparently to annoy Hiei. (What other reason could there possibly be?) He hadn't counted on Botan, especially on the fact that she was particularly annoyed right now. 

            THWOCK!!!

            "Owww!! Geez, Botan, when did you get so violent?" Yusuke whined from the floor. Botan dusted her hands off and turned her head away from him with a 'hmph!'. 

            "I suppose it's because she's been hanging around Shorty lately," Kuwabara mocked.

            SLAP!!

            "OWWW!!!" Kuwabara cried, when he, too, was taken aback by Botan's slap. 

            "Yes, I guess Hiei does tend to bring out the worst in her," Kurama inferred. Yusuke smirked even more evilly than before.

            "Yeah, Hiei, just how naughty _is_ she?" he asked. 

            WHAP!!

            Yusuke now had two matching bright red hand prints, one on each cheek. He whimpered pathetically. Kurama snickered, until Botan wheeled around and stalked toward him.

            "And you..." she started, "you told them, didn't you?" she asked. Kurama raised his hands level with his shoulders, palms outward, in a gesture of surrender.

            "I didn't tell anyone, I promise," he said.

            "Then who..." Botan asked. A giggle suddenly found it's way to her ears, and they looked over at Yukina. 

            "Yukina?!" Botan and Hiei chorused, gaping at the ice demon. She smiled.

            "Guilty as charged," she said. They both sighed. Botan turned and stalked toward Hiei.

            "This is your fault! I _told_ you not to be so loud!" she exclaimed.

            "Me! You didn't have to open your window!"

            "You would have broken it if I didn't!"

            "No I wouldn't have!"

            "Yes you would have!"

            "I had no intention of going in the window last night!"

            "Then why did you come by?!"   

            "To check on you!" 

            They were suddenly interrupted by laughter from the rest of the demons and humans in the room. 

            "Oh, shut up!" they both exclaimed, and left the room in opposite directions, completely fed up with everything. 

=======================================================================

            Botan sat up in her room, disgusted.

            "I knew that would happen if they found out. Pigs." she muttered. There was a knock on her door.

            "Botan?" came the query from the hall. Kurama. 

            "What?!" she replied. 

            "Botan-chan, I am very very sorry!" Yukina's apology came from the hallway outside of her door. She sighed. 

            "We're all really sorry...but come on!! We couldn't help but tease you guys! Think about it!" Kuwabara's 'apology' came from the hallway as well. 

            "What's there to think about? You men are pigs...the whole lot of you!" she replied.

            "Well...it's _you_ and _Hiei_. You...bright pink kimono, bubbly personality, was probably human at some point or another. Hiei...constantly dresses in black, silent and moody, hates humans. You two are just such an unlikely couple that we _had_ to make fun of you." Yusuke attempted to explain.             "You still had no right to go that far," Botan replied.

            "But we just couldn't resist!" protested Kuwabara. 

            "Botan, we're really sorry!!" Yusuke added.

            Silence.

            "Aww, don't give us the silent treatment!" Kuwabara exclaimed. 

            However, Botan was not paying any attention to the voices beyond the door. She was more focused on the black-cloaked, spiky-haired person sitting on her windowsill.          

            "Hi," she said, smiling a little.

            "..." Hiei didn't reply, and looked pointedly at her door. "Perhaps we should forgive them. We have to, eventually." Hiei said. Botan looked shocked.

            "Did you just say 'forgive'?" she asked. 

            "Yes."

            "I think you've been getting soft lately."

            "And you've been getting violent."

            "Can you blame me?"    

            "Not really," Hiei said, smiling ironically, and shook his head. "But that wasn't why I showed up here,"

            "Why then?"

            "Well...at least now they know, and we don't have to hide it from them anymore,"    

            Botan smiled at that. "Yeah...that is true. It's out in the open now. And they probably won't tease us about it anymore," 

            "Yeah," was all Hiei said in reply.

            "We're sorry! Say something would ya? You're starting to scare us!" Kuwabara's voice filtered to them. 

            "All right, all right. I forgive you guys." Botan called.

            "Really?" they chorused.

            "Really." she said. The door creaked open, and Yusuke stuck his head in. He saw Hiei and paled, quickly stepping back and shutting the door.

            "Are you just joking...'cause I really don't want to die!" Yusuke called, waveringly.

            "He forgive you too...but pull that again and you _might_ end up dead a second time, Yusuke Urameshi," Botan replied. This time the door opened wider, revealing the rest of the people: Yusuke, Kuwabara and Yukina standing at the front with Kurama and Genkai in the back. They just stood there and stood for a second, soaking up the fact that they would have to get used to seeing Hiei and Botan together. 

            ...of course, that peace only lasted for a second.

            "So...when is the wedding?" Yukina asked, semi-innocently. The ferrygirl and the koorime were caught completely off-guard by this, so they just stammered like fools for a second, looking from Yukina to eachother to everyone else in the room, before actually doing something. Hiei went 'Hn' and folded his arms, glaring at everyone. Botan face faulted with crimson cheeks. Perfectly normal reactions, I'd gather.

            "More importantly," Yusuke started, failing to hide a diabolical grin, "will Botan be wearing white at it?" he asked. Kuwabara and Kurama chuckled, Genkai smiled (gasp!!) and Yukina looked clueless as to why she wouldn't be able to wear white. (being a youkai she probably wouldn't be very informed on silly and pointless _human_ traditions, now would she? Then again neither would Hiei...whatever!!)

            CRACK!!! Yusuke received a well-deserved blow to the head from Botan with her new and improved Spirit Oar.

            "Yep...she's gotten more violent all right..." Yusuke managed to utter from the floor before passing out from the concussion. Everyone else sweatdropped and backed away nervously from the agitated ferrygirl. Including Hiei. He got the feeling that being her koibito didn't exclude him from blows to the head if he happened to say or do something offensive. 

            "Hey!! We're only joking, Botan!!" Kuwabara protested, looking around for something white to wave in surrender.

            "Well...Botan _is_ uncharacteristically violent in this story, you know," Kurama replied. 

            "Cripes," Kuwabara cursed, snapping his fingers. 

            "At least her violence is no longer directed at me," Hiei said.

            "You never know," said the authoress, a hint of evil in her voice, "there might be a sequel...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!"

            "Eep." Hiei said. (o_O...wow...authoress powers rock!! Hiei would never say 'eep'!)

            "Can we stop this before it turns into a parody in the last scene?" Genkai said.

            "Oh...all right." the authoress begrudgingly said, and disappeared in a poof of smoke. 

            "Now...back to the actual story..." said no one in particular...

=======================================================================

***Ten years later...***

            "Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!! Time to cut the cake!!" Yusuke's maniacal laughter reached the ears of a ferrygirl and a koorime. Said ferrygirl just slapped her head and started in the general direction of the manical laughter, trailed by the koorime, picking disgustedly at what appeared to be a suit. 

            "URAMESHI!!! NOT WITH A CHAINSAW!!" came the yelp of another from the direction they were headed in. 

            "The oaf has more sense than Urameshi for once. I suppose anything can happen. Next thing you know we'll find out that hell has frozen over and a flying pig will smash into my head," the koorime commented. The ferrygirl snickered. They finally rounded a corner and were greeted by general insanity. Yusuke, in a black tuxedo with his hair NOT greased back for once in his life, was standing over a seven-layer wedding cake with a chainsaw. Kuwabara, in a similar suit, was trying desperately to keep Yusuke from starting the chainsaw. All of a sudden, Keiko emerged from the crowd that had formed a semicircle around the spectacle, looking extremely angry.

            "YUSUKE YOU PIG! I TOLD YOU NO CHAINSAWS!" she shrieked, running forward and nailing Yusuke in the head with a flying drop-kick, white veil trailing behind her. The visibly pregnant woman landed in a crouch, dusted her hands off, straightened her wedding dress, and started back through the shocked crowd. Kuwabara was rolling on the ground laughing, Yusuke currently had not gotten up, and Hiei and Botan were laughing, though they had more sense and maturity to roll on the ground with laughter. 

            "Even six months pregnant, and at her own wedding besides, Keiko can still knock the groom unconscious with a drop kick. He _sure_ knows how to pick them," chuckled Botan. 

A little while later, the crowd had thinned out, as had the monstrous wedding cake. The former Spirit Detectives and people somehow connected to them were sitting around a table talking. Yusuke was holding an ice pack to his head looking cross while most everyone else drank tea or coffee or something of that nature. 

The assembly included Keiko, in a shiny white wedding dress, looking proud, Yusuke in a black tuxedo looking cross as I've stated before, Kuwabara in a not-quite-as-black tuxedo looking nervous, Yukina in a blue bridesmaid dress looking overly happy as usual, Genkai also in a bridesmaid dress (GASP!!! GENKAI IS WEARING FEMININE CLOTHING!!! MAYBE HELL _HAS_ FROZEN OVER!!) looking annoyed as usual, Botan in yet another bridesmaid dress looking normal, Hiei in a tuxedo looking annoyed as well, and Koenma in his teenage form also in a tuxedo looking Koenma-ish. 

Just so you know it took a LOT of begging, pleading, and concussions to the head delivered by a certain ferrygirl to get Genkai and Hiei to wear a dress and a tuxedo  (respectfully). Obviously Hiei was the one getting blows to the head, not Genkai, and vice-versa. Just so you know, Hell has _not_ frozen over, and as far as I know pigs can't fly. 

And Koenma's there because he can be and I felt like having him in the epilogue. 

Oh and Puu was there but he was currently eating ice cream so I'm not mentioning him. 

           "Wow, I can't believe you guys finally got married," Yukina said, beaming at Keiko and Yusuke.

            "Yeah, it took you long enough," Kuwabara added.

            "What's that supposed to mean?" Yusuke countered.

            "Yusuke, from the moment I met you I could tell that she had you whipped and one day was going to force you into marrying her," Botan said, and everyone but Yusuke chuckled. 

            "Ha ha ha." Yusuke said in a deadpan tone.

            "Seriously, though, do you think you could have waited any longer to get married?" Koenma asked.

            "Yeah, actually, we _could_ have waited until I was nine months pregnant...like this baka wanted me to do," she said, elbowing Yusuke.

            "Well...maybe then he wouldn't have been in danger of you drop kicking him into the next time zone," Kurama joked. 

            "Nah...nine months along or six, if he needs a good drop kick I'll give him one!" she said. Yusuke sighed and put his head down on the table defeatedly.

            _"Why are all the women in this story so violent or evil?_" he wondered.

            "Because violent and evil women make the story more interesting," the authoress replied.

            "Didn't we already discuss this?!" Yusuke demanded.

            "Fine!" the authoress exclaimed, disappearing again.

            "What do you think you'll name the baby?" Yukina asked.

            "Well..." Keiko started. Before anyone else could heckle Yusuke about the wedding, he decided to try to take the heat off of himself for a little while.

            "Enough about us!" he said, and turned to the person across from him, which ironically happened to be Botan. "What about you guys? When are _you_ gonna get married?" he asked, exasperatedly. Botan rolled her eyes and Hiei sighed, annoyed.

            "We demons, unlike you humans, don't need to go through an annoying and audacious ceremony like you humans to prove that we have claimed our mates. Botan and I have been 'married' as you humans call it, since the day I gave her a claiming mark," Hiei explained. The humans at the table looked clueless and turned to Kurama.

            "Demon translator...can we have that without 'you pathetic humans' every sentence?" Yusuke joked.

            "Sure...you pathetic humans." Kurama said, purposefully, and cleared his throat. "Demons, unlike you pathetic humans..."

            "Kurama..." Yusuke glared, annoyed.

            "Can't I have a little fun? I've refrained from torturing you all night!" he said as if torturing Yusuke about his marriage were as vital to him as air.      

            "Fine, fine fine," he said.

            "Demons show possession of their mates by biting them," he said.

            "Okay...is anyone else freaked out by this enlightening evidence?" Keiko asked. Yusuke raised his hand. "Okay, just checking." Kuwabara looked thoughtful.

            "So does this mean that I have to bite Yukina?" he asked a _little _too loudly. Botan had to physically restrain Hiei to prevent him from killing Kuwabara. Yukina, as usual, seemed oblivious to everything as she munched on some rice cakes for no reason. 

            "Well...you aren't a demon so it wouldn't work anyway," Kurama said. Hiei sighed in relief, and Botan stopped restraining him. 

            "So then Yukina would have to bite _me_?" Kuwabara asked. Once again, Botan had to restrain the murderous koorime. Yet again, Yukina was as oblivious as always. 

            After a little while things quieted down again, and the group was just about to split up and say their goodbyes, when Kuwabara abruptly stood up.

            "Ummm...well, this might not be appropriate for a reception after my best friend's wedding, but..." he started, but Yusuke cut him off.

            "Oh no...you're not gonna sing the Lumberjack Song, are you?" he asked, inciting snickers from everyone except Kuwabara and Yukina (because why would she know what the Lumberjack Song is? Do YOU know?).      

            "This is serious!" Kuwabara said. Everyone looked at him strangely. It was just very odd for him to say anything serious. He cleared his throat, and turned to Yukina who was sitting next to him. Hiei reached for the hilt of his kitana. Botan got ready to restrain him. "We've been together for a while," Kuwabara continued, occasionally stumbling over a word. "and...umm...well...oh what the heck, doyouwanttogetmarried?" he managed to blurt out, clumsily taking a ring out of his pocket. Everyone else gasped or something to that effect. Botan immediately summoned her oar and whapped Hiei on the head with it, knocking him senseless enough for her to drag him out of the room. Everyone just shrugged, since that was pretty much normal to them by now. Kuwabara and Yukina didn't notice because they were busy staring into each other's eyes.

            "Of course Kazuma!!" Yukina exclaimed, and they hugged and other romace-alicious stuff. 

            "Why did you do that?!" Hiei demanded, finally regaining enough sense to figure out what happened. She was still dragging him in the general opposite direction of the party.

            "Well, you would have killed Kuwabara and that would have made Yukina sad," Botan said.

            "Hn. Why? She would be better off without the oaf," he replied.

            "That's your opinion, not hers," she replied.

            "Hn. I'm her older brother, and I cannot allow her to marry that moron," he said. She stopped in her tracks and wheeled on him, looking him straight in the eyes.

            "If you're going to play the big brother card, then you have to tell her," she said. He opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off. "And anyway, you're being way too hard on Kuwabara. Sure, he was a bit clumsy and not the strongest fighter in the world at first, but he _has_ gotten much better over the years. He's almost as strong as Yusuke, you know," she said. She let go of his arm and turned away from him, folding her arms.

            "But if you feel that you have to stop them, stop them. You're only doing exactly what Koenma was doing back before we got together," she said. Hiei blinked.

            "Huh. I never thought of it that way," he said, a little baffled. His actions _were_ very similar to Koenma's, and she was right about that. He sighed.

            "Hn. Fine. Let the oaf marry her. I don't have to like it," he said, conceding.

            "Nope!" she said, turning around, a happy smile on her face. "Now that we've got _that_ straightened out, why don't we work on the you-not-telling-Yukina-that-you-are-her-brother thing..." she started, but the koorime stopped her.       

            "Maybe later. I don't think Yukina could handle the oaf saying that he wanted to marry her and me telling her that I am her older brother all in the same night," he said.

            Botan nodded. "Touché," was all she could think of to say. They started back toward the party. "Well, think of the bright side. We can heckle Kuwabara AND Yusuke now," Hiei smirked evilly, and then a thought struck him.

            "We're lucky. They can't heckle us because we really have no need for a ningen 'wedding'." Hiei commented. Botan looked wistful.

            "But after seeing Keiko walk down the aisle in that pretty dress today..." she sighed dramatically for effect, "I'm beginning to think that we need to have a wedding!" she said. Hiei stared at her incredulously, and gulped nervously when she her eyes started to sparkle.

            "But...we don't have to...I mean..." he stuttered. She smiled, the sparkle disappearing instantly.

            "I was just kidding. I love making you panic," she said, smiling evilly at the expression on his face. He narrowed his eyes.

            "You are a deceitful, evil woman," he said, seriously. "That's the only reason I could ever love a bubbly ferrygirl like you," 

            "Oh, shut up," she said, rolling her eyes. 

            "You shut, up, ningen!" he exclaimed.

            "You, youkai!!" she fired back. Electricity crackled between their eyes, and they laughed.

            "Aishiteru," they said, and kissed.

            "You think I could find a purple bridal gown?" she asked, jokingly. 

            "Purple...well, it's better than pink, I suppose" Hiei shrugged in reply. 

And so, Keiko and a slightly beaten up Yusuke left for their flight to Jamaica for their honeymoon, Kuwabara and Yukina started planning their wedding, Kurama, Genkai, and Koenma just went home, Hiei and Botan ran off to find a nice, empty place in the forest, and Puu was left behind to eat the rest of the food left behind. 

The end

**Thankies**** again!! This is the end *sniff sniff* of The Fates Have a Twisted Sense of Humor. I might write an epilogue or I might not. **

**I thank all of you who reviewed, whether you were flaming my story or not. *rolls eyes*.**

**I apologize for the length of time it took me to get some of the chapters out, especially the second one and the fifth one. **

**I apologize if the characters were a bit OOC (they kinda were, especially in this chapter) but the OOCness makes it that much more interesting of a story, ne?**

**I apologize for not updating the rating after the fifth chapter until I posted this one. I am just lazy and extremely forgetful...**

**Now as for this chapter, it seems even to me that I jump from extreme to extreme a lot, even to me. That is because I wrote this over the span of five days and my train of thought kept derailing and switching to different tracks. Plus there were three different conductors (the three voices in my head). **

**That's it! The end!! Yay!! Keep on the look out for a sequel, but I'm not promising anything.**


	7. The Epilogue Part TWO!

**The Fates Have A Twisted Sense of Humor**

**By ArtikGato**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just enjoy torturing and/or pairing the characters.

Author's Notes: *looks at reviews* 181?! DEAR LORD!! THAT'S ALMOST TWO HUNDRED!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Oh right. I bet you're all wondering what I'm doing posting ANOTHER chapter. Sorries, but I had the kawaiiest idea and had to make a chapter out of it!! Think of it as a second epilogue or an epilogue part two. Does it matter? It's ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!

**The Epilogue of Doom! Part Two!**

_Somewhere in the distant future..._

To: Hiei & Botan

From: Kurama

            _Hey guys. I've heard from Yusuke and Keiko lately, and they're thinking about having a reunion back in __Tokyo__, and they want you guys to come. We haven't seen you guys since Kintora was just a little tyke. How's she doing, anyway? Well, you can tell us when you meet us for the reunion, right? It's in __Tokyo__ at the usual place on November 3rd. Be sure to come, all right?_

_-Kurama-_

            "A reunion, huh?"

            "Sounds interesting."

            "Sounds fun."

            "Mwahahahaha!"

            "..."

_A week later..._

            The sounds of distant chatter made their way to the ears of three travelers. They were climbing the massive stairs that led to Genkai's former temple, now the home of Yukina and Kuwabara, and the place where the Reikai Tantei always gathered. 

            The group of travelers consisted of a black haired, black garbed man, a woman with light blue hair and dressed in black as well, and a child with black hair dressed in a blue kimono. Said child was slightly ahead of the two adults, floating around on a small oar. 

            "Are we almost there?" the child asked.

            "Just a few more steps, Kintora," the woman said, wishing that she still had her spirit oar. 

            "Hn. I don't see the point of another reunion..." the man said. The woman turned to him.

            "Oh, come on! You really expect me to believe that you aren't just a _little_ excited about seeing everyone again? It's been almost six years." she said. 

            "You know me too well, onna," the man said, annoyed. A devious smile crept to her lips and she leaned over to him, whispering something in his ear that made him smile. 

            "Hey hey hey!!! Mom, dad!! I see the temple!!" Kintora shouted excitedly, floating back to them and flying in circles around the man's head. He acted as if what she was doing was normal.

            "You do? Great. Now, I want you to stay behind me so no one can see you. Daddy wants to play a trick on some of his old friends," the man said, smirking evilly. 

            "Okay!" Kintora exclaimed, and flew behind him.

            "Good girl," he replied. 

            "Honestly..." the woman said, shaking her head. They climbed a few more stairs, and finally the huge staircase ended, being replaced by a stone courtyard. On the other side of the courtyard was a temple made partly out of stone and partly out of wood. Within it was the source of the chatter the travelers had heard earlier. Suddenly, the doors opened, and a man with orange hair emerged, followed by another man, with long pinkish-reddish hair.

            "Hey! You guys made it!" the orange haired man exclaimed. 

            "Of course they did," the red haired man replied, "I threatened them," 

            "Oh, we didn't pay attention to your threat. We...well, at the very least me, wanted to see all of you guys again," the blue haired woman replied. Suddenly, a green haired woman in an ice blue kimono appeared behind them.   

            "Who's here? Oh! Hello, oniisan, Botan-chan," she said, bowing politely. At this motion, the white bundle of cloth in her arms suddenly started to cry.

            "Kori-chan, it's okay, it's okay!" the green haired woman sang, unwrapping part of the bundle to reveal a head with messy green hair.

            "Wow, Yukina! So this is Kori? She looks just like you," said the blue haired woman, who had come to stand next to the green haired woman.

            "Arigatou, Botan-chan," Yukina replied.

            "Speaking of children...where is Kintora, Hiei?" the red haired man asked the black haired man. A giggle suddenly came from behind the black haired man.

            "Can I come out now, daddy?" the voice asked.

            "Sure," Hiei replied with a sigh. His plan was ruined. Oh well. Kintora suddenly peeked her head around the side of Hiei's shoulder and looked at them, curiously. She still hovered on her oar. The red haired man, the orange haired man, and Yukina all stared at the little girl, amazed.

            "Wow...she looks like a little clone of you, Botan, but with Hiei's hair," was all the orange haired man could think of to say. 

            WHAM!!!!

            "How DARE you insult my child like that, Kuwabara!!!" Botan exclaimed, hitting the orange haired man on the head with her trusty 'Baka Mallet of Doom'. (*singing* Baka Mallet!! More trusty than a sledgehammer, more versatile than a frying pan! Get yours today!! BAKA MALLET!!! Baka Mallet!)

            "Ow..." squeaked Kuwabara. Kintaro just looked on with ever curious eyes.

            "Daddy, is mom _always_ this violent?" she asked.

            "Yeah, pretty much," he replied, making sure that Botan didn't hear him. 

            "Speaking of bakas," muttered Botan, and turned to Kurama, "where is Yusuke?" she asked. As if on cue, a shout suddenly turned their attentions toward the stairs on the opposite side of the courtyard. They were greeted with a very strange sight. 

            What looked like a smaller version of Yusuke was riding on the much larger version of Yusuke's shoulders, with Keiko walking beside them, holding a basket of stuff. 

            "Speak of the devil and he comes." Botan said, shaking her head. 

            "Well well well. Look who's back after six years!" Yusuke called to them, addressing Hiei and Botan. 

            "Very funny, Yusuke," Botan called back. Kintora blinked, and floated up to them, flying in circles around the miniature Yusuke.

            "You look kinda familiar," she said, examining him. The miniature Yusuke looked kind of freaked out.       

            "Dad!! Tell her to stop flying around me!" the miniature Yusuke exclaimed. Yusuke ignored him and just smirked at Hiei and Botan.

            "Well, I guess I don't have to ask if this is little Kintora. She looks like a clone of you, Botan. Well, except with Hiei's black hair," he remarked.

            WHAM!!!!

            "NOT THE BAKA MALLET! MERCY!!" Yusuke pleaded.

            "DO YOU AND KUWABARA SHARE THE SAME BRAIN?!" Botan demanded. The miniature Yusuke and Kintora stood off to the side, watching their parents have a good old fashioned brawl. The miniature Yusuke turned to Kintora.

            "Hi, I'm Noroki," he said, politely. Kintora smiled at him.

            "I'm Kintora," she introduced herself. 

            "Hey, ya want to see something really cool?" Noroki asked.

            "Sure, I guess," Kintora replied. Noroki held up one hand with the fingers curved back except for his thumb and pointer finger. 

            "My dad taught me this," he said, and pointed his hand at a leaf nearby. A small version of the Spirit Gun blasted the leaf into smithereens. Kintora looked impressed.

            "Wow. Hey! My daddy taught me how to sword fight, watch!" Kintora said, and produced her Boken from out of nowhere. She swung it around in a bunch of complex moves, and then attacked a nearby piece of vegetation. She seemed to pass through it, and when she landed on the other side, the vegetation split into four pieces and fell to the ground.

            "Wow! Cool!" Noroki exclaimed. 

            "Hey, that was really cool! Can I try?" came a voice from nearby. The two children turned to see another child, this one slightly less tall than them. He had reddish-pink hair that spiked a little off of his head. In one hand he held a miniature red rose, and the other waved at them.

            "Are you another kid of my parent's friends?" Kintora asked, curiously.

            "Yeah! I'm Shoku," he introduced himself, and pointed directly at Kurama, "and that's my papa," 

            "Wow! Hey, why are you carrying around a flower? Only girls carry around flowers," Noroki asked.

            "My papa carries around flowers all of the time," Shoku defended.

            "I like flowers," Kintora said, from out of nowhere. 

            "Hey, so were you going to show us a trick or something?" Noroki asked. 

            "Huh? Oh, yeah! Watch, this is really cool." he said, and held up his rose. "Rose whip!" he said, and the rose turned into a miniature, non thorny rose whip.

            "Cool!!" Kintora and Noroki exclaimed, in unison. 

            "Yeah, dad taught me that," explained Shoku, proudly. 

            "Well, my mom taught me how to fly around on this oar!" exclaimed Kintora, floating a few inches off of the ground on her oar.

            "Well, MY mom taught me how to fight. Well, dad helped a little, but mostly mom," Noroki informed them. Shoku looked sad.

            "I don't have a mom," he said. 

            "Oh?" asked Kintora.

            "Yeah, daddy says that she went to a better place when I was very little," Shoku told them.

            "Oh? That's too bad. I'm sorry," Kintora said. 

=======================================================================

            Meanwhile, the parents had stopped fighting and were watching their children. 

            "You know, they kinda remind me of us when we were little," remarked Yusuke.

            "Yeah, especially since your kid is just a clone of you," Kuwabara said. THWOCK! Yusuke hit him on the head. Yukina just shook her head and sighed.

            "You have to wonder," Kurama said, ignoring the violence as if it were a normal thing with these people (which it probably was...), "...what they'll all look like when they are older,"

            "Well...Noroki will look like Yusuke, Kintora will look like Botan but with black hair, and Shoku will probably just look like Kurama." Kuwabara said. 

            THWOCK! WHAM!! BLAM!! FOOSH!!

            "I'll have you know that Noroki looks a LOT more like Keiko without his hair greased back!" Yusuke defended.

            "And Kintora only looks like me because of her hairstyle!" Botan added.

            "And Shoku doesn't even look REMOTELY similar to me in any way except for the hair color! And possibly the rose whip!" Kurama exclaimed.

            "Stop insulting our children!! Are you ASKING for a concussion?!" Keiko shrieked.            

            "If he is then I'll be glad to give him one," Hiei said, cracking his knuckles for effect.

            "Honey, you really need to stop. You're setting a bad example for the children," Yukina reprimanded. Kuwabara sighed, outnumbered and defeated.

            "Okay. I'm sorry guys." Kuwabara replied.

Meanwhile...

            "I want to be the leader!" Kintora exclaimed.

            "No, I'm the leader!" Noroki shouted.

            "ME!!" Kintora argued.

            "But my dad was the leader of the spirit detective things!"

            "My dad was the most powerful one!"

            "Nah uh!! My dad was!"

            "No, my dad was!"

            "Hey, can we just stop fighting and settle this in a fair way?" Shoku pleaded. 

            "Okay." both of the fighting children sighed.

            "Now, I think _I_ should be the leader," Shoku said.

            "WHAT?!"

            "What makes you think YOU get to be the leader?!" Noroki demanded.

            "Well, I'm a full demon! You guys aren't!" Shoku replied.

            "Well I'm HALF demon!" exclaimed Kintora, proudly.

            "Well I'm full HUMAN! So ha!" Noroki exclaimed.

            "Well I'm the cutest here!" Shoku argued.

            "Nah uh!" Noroki exclaimed.       

            "If you're going to say that then KORI will have to be our leader!" Kintora pointed out. 

            "Well...um...why don't we play a game without a leader?" Shoku requested.

            "No!! You just don't want anyone to be the leader but you!" Noroki exclaimed.

            "I just want to play a game! Can't we just pick me?" whined Kintora.

            "NO!!" shouted Shoku and Noroki.

            "Aww...look at that! They're arguing just like all of us do!" Botan said, with the 'kawaii!' face. Everyone else sweatdropped. 

            "You know what would be weird?" Kuwabara suddenly asked out of the blue.

            "What?" 

            "If our children grew up to be the new Rekai Tantei," he answered.

            "That'd never happen," Yusuke remarked.

            "Well, you never know. Some people say that traits in parents are doubled in their children," Kurama said.

            "Umm, in English?" Kuwabara requested.

            "Our kids will be twice as strong as we are with Spirit power and fighting maneuvers," 

            "Ah."

            "Plus, these kids have pretty powerful parents," Keiko added.

            "Yeah, that's true. Like little Noroki has Yusuke's Spirit powers, his fighting style, and Keiko's ...erm, fighting style as well," Kurama said, nicely avoiding Keiko's wrath.

            "Don't you mean her temper?" Yusuke asked, failing to avoid the wrath of Keiko.

            BLAM!!

            "You think I would be used to being hit in the head by now..." Yusuke asked, rubbing his bruised cranium.

            "Believe me, you don't," Hiei said. Botan glared at him.

            "Well that's because I don't hit you in the head much any more," she replied.

            "And Kintora has Botan's ability to hit people in the head with her oar, and Hiei's Spirit powers and fighting style. Not to mention she's half demon," Kurama continued, ignoring their bickering. 

            "You can say that again," Kuwabara said, pointing over in the direction the children were in. Noroki was running frantically around in circles flailing his arms as Kintora chased him around on her oar, boken raised above her head in a threatening manner, shrieking at Noroki. Kurama chuckled at the irony of the situation. Hiei smirked, proudly. 

            "And Shoku looks like he inherited Kurama's powers," Yukina said, just as Shoku stepped in to the fight and used his (non-thorny, by the way) miniature Rose Whip to restrain Kintora. Yusuke suddenly thought of something. (GASP!! Heh, just kidding...sorry! ^_^''')

            "If Shoku has your powers, then can he also turn into a Youko?" he asked.

            "I don't think so. His mother was a wolf. It would be interesting if he could, though," Kurama replied. 

            "And little Kori will be pretty powerful, too. She has Kuwabara's Spirit powers and plus she's half koorime," Botan said. 

            "It would be a very interesting tantei, that's for sure," Hiei concluded. Everyone nodded, looking over at the three chibis.

            "It's my turn!"

            "No it's mine!!"

            "Mine!"

            "MINE!!"

            They were currently using Shoku's Rose Whip as a jump rope, and, of course, Kintora and Noroki were fighting over who got to jump and who had to swing the jump rope.

            "I've been swinging the rope since we started! Can't I have a turn?" Shoku put in.

            "NO!" Kintora and Noroki exclaimed.

            "Gakis," Shoku muttered.

            "So are you!" Kintora replied.

            "Nah uh!!" Shoku defended.

            "Those three are going to be best friends when they get older," Kurama remarked.

            "Hard to believe, though." Keiko said. Botan leaned over to Hiei as the conversation continued.

            "Hey, I think it's safe to say that Kintora is preoccupied right now," Botan whispered to him. He turned to her and smiled deviously.

            "Onna, I always have liked the way you think," he said. With that they got up and tried to sneak away discreetly. Of course, they were noticed.

            "Where do you think they're going?" Kuwabara asked.                 

            "Is that a rhetorical question?" Yusuke asked. Yukina sighed.

            "You know, they've been together longer than any of us, but they're still just as in love as they were when they first got together. That's so poetic," she said. 

            "We're still that much in love," Kuwabara pointed out. 

            "Yes, but they've been together much longer than us," Yukina explained.

            "So are you saying that you're not going to love me in a few years?!" 

            "No no no! I'm just saying..oh, never mind," she gave up, leaving Kuwabara distressed and confused, as usual. Just then, Kintora flew up to them.

            "Where did mom and daddy go?" she asked.

            "Oh, they went to go b—" Yusuke started, but Keiko smacked him on the head, silencing him.

            "They went to...um, go make lunch!" she quickly covered.

            "Oh. Okay!" Kintora said, smiled, and went back over to the other children. As soon as she was out of hearing range...

            "YOU BAKA!!" Keiko exclaimed. "It's bad enough that you talk that way around Noroki, but you don't have to corrupt other people's children, dimwit!"       

            "I love you too, honey," Yusuke replied, sarcastically. 

**Well, that's it! Thanks again to everyone that reviewed. Without you guys I never would have made it this far!! So thankies and many popsicles to all of you! Well, THIS is the end *sniff sniff* of The Fates Have a Twisted Sense of Humor. (This is REALLY the end, I promise!) I have the kawaiiest idea for a sequel, so be on the look out for it (but don't murder me if I don't get around to writing it...). **

**Oh, and after re-reading the entire story over again, it seems like a lot of the ideas I started with and tried to incorporate into the story are missing. Oh well. I must have come up with eight different ways the story could have progressed and ten or so endings, but I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. If it seems as if I go from one extreme to another in writing, that's because I did. It took me quite a while to write this thing, and I swear I was in a different mood for each chapter. *shrug* I apologize if this is confusing. Heck, I'M confused by it and I wrote it. Oh well. **

**And, to finish it all off...the translation to all of the Japanese words used in this chapter!**

**Ningen = human**

**Reikai Tantei = Spirit Detectives**

**Onna = woman**

**Oniisan = older brother**

**Arigatou = thank you**

**Boken = wooden sword**

**Chibis = children, I think. There's no real way to explain the word 'chibi'**

**Youko = the spiffycool white haired, yellow eyed fox form of Kurama**

**Gaki = brat**


End file.
